Wicked Fun
by Broadway Babe WA
Summary: What if Elphie took all of her Shiz friends out on a camping trip? Witches, Winkies, Munchkins, oh my! Wrote this last spring on a camping trip when it rained and never got to typing it. Thanks to SAM for doing this dorky fun project with me!
1. Camping!

**Yes I know this is super random but I did this for fun back a long time ago on a camping trip when it rained and never got to typing it. I thought it was funny though so enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT, NOR WILL I EVER, OWN WICKED! I REALLY WISH I DID BUT WHY WOULD I BE WRITING THIS THEN?

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It's a beautiful spring day. Boq and Fiyero are playing video games and Galinda is retouching her makeup again. Elphaba thinks that her friends should see nature. Bursting into the room, Elphaba gleefully declares they are going camping.

"Mph," Fiyero replies.

"No way! We just prestiged on Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2!

"Modern _WHAT? _And what is _prostaged?_" Galinda interrupts with a clueless look.

"See, Boq? This is why you're a dork!" Elphaba says flatly.

"Wait! What's camping?" Galinda suddenly asks, looking panicked. "Does it hurt?"

"No it doesn't hurt!" Elphaba replied before muttering, "Well, maybe a little…"

"WHAT?"

"Kidding, kidding."

Suddenly their conversation is interjected with a serious of whoops from Boq and Fiyero.

"You're excited?" Elphie asks.

"No we just defeated Master Chief!" Boq replies. Elphaba rolls her eyes.

_**Several hours later**_

The group are all packing.

Galinda drags a pile of bags over.

"Galinda, you brought all this?" Elphie exclaims, looking at the blonde's many bags.

"What? Did I under pack?"

"What _did_ you bring in all of those?"

"Oh you know, the usual: makeup, teddy bears, dresses, shoes, hair curlers, emergency make up kit for you, contacts…"

"Contacts?" Elphaba perks up at the possibility of an imperfection on her friend.

"… I want bluer eyes," Galinda stated flatly, rolling her emerald green eyes.

"Great," Elphie mutters, "She is flawless."

Just as Elphaba says this she notices Boq is staring at the blonde dreamly… again.

"Ummm… is there electricity?" Fiyero asks.

"NO VIDEO GAMES!"

"Wha? No! Oh _come on,_ Elphie!" Boq and Fiyero protest.

"No. You need to see nature for once!"

"But what about Galinda?" Fiyero says, "You're not punishing her."

"Fine. Galinda, _no_ makeup, what-so-ever."

Galinda looks back at Elphaba in alarm.

"WAHHH!" she cries running off.

"YAAA! That was great!" the Munchkin and the Winkie cheer.

"Thank you, gentleman," Elphaba says, "Just doing my job."

Boq and Fiyero begin to circle around Elphie with their arms crossed.

"What about _you_, Elphie?" Boq asks.

"Boq, what _are_ you talking about?"

"You made Fiyero and I givue up our video games and Galinda give up her makeup, so now you have to sacrifice something," the Munchkin clarifies.

"I'm thinking books," says Fiyero, "What about you, my friend?"

"Ah indeed, very good choice."

"_NOOO!_ NEVER!" the witch protests.

"What's going on?" Nessa asks, suddenly rolling in.

"We're going camping and they want me to give up my books," Elphaba replies.

"You made us give up video games!" Boq says.

"Video games are _ELECTRONIC_," Elphie adds.

"Makeup isn't!" Galinda shouts running over.

"Aw Shiz."

"Elphaba! Watch you're tounge!" Nessa snaps scornfully.

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**Funny? Lame? _GOTTA KNOW, PEOPLE!_ Review if ya please, but I would seriously _LOVE_ some feedback! All I wanna do is get opinions and improve my writing quality!**


	2. Hair dye: a Secret of Galinda Upland

**NEXT CHAPTER EVERYONE! Have fun with the (hopefully) chaotic ridiculousness and hilarity of this story!**

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_**Later, in the forest**_

Galinda is hopelessly fumbling with her tent.

"Sweet Oz, this is harder than I thought!" the blonde remarks.

Boq is still staring at her dreamily.

"Well you're no help!" Galinda exclaims, "Oh, forget it!"

"I'm sleeping under the stars," Fiyero announces, throwing out a sleeping bag.

"Elphie! If you help me you can stay with me and I'll do you're makeup!" Galinda calls.

"No."

"I didn't bring any makeup! Just your emergency kit, don't worry, they're not my color," the blonde adds.

"NOOO."

"Come on, Elphaba! Just have some fun!" Boq says.

"I _would_ like to see this…" Fiyero remarks.

"Fine. Let's get this over with. I said never again, but, there you go," the green witch mutters.

_**A few minutes later**_

"Wow. She _has_ been Galindafied!" Fiyero exclaims.

"Shut up, Fiyero."

"Actually, it looks pretty good…" the Munchkin says, "how does she know this stuff?"

"Well look at me!" Galinda exclaims.

"_AAANNNDDD?_" Elphie interjects.

"Well my father is the finest dentist in the Upper Uplands, my mother runs a beauty shop, my aunt works in fashion, my grandmother won the Miss Oz beauty pagent, and my uncle is a plastic surgeon."

"Sooo…" the Boq begins, "what about the rest?" He looks her up and down a few times.

"You sick boy…" Galinda mutters, "JUST KIDDING! It's all natural! Well… maybe a little Botox here and there but anyway!" The blonde grins broadly. The green girl looks dumbfounded.

Suddenly there's a clap of thunder.

"My hair!" Galinda gasps taking out a frilly pink umbrella, only to receive strange looks from the others. "What? It's not like I'm never prepared!" the blonde adds defensively.

"Don't worry, lightning isn't going to strike your hair," Elphie says.

"It's not that! It's _RAIN!_"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP, YOU IMP!" Morrible yells walking in, "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"

Galinda tries to answer doing a creepy voice saying, "Gettin' away from… this is _not_ working."

"No. Never," the others reply.

"Well anyway, gettin' away from you! Why is it that all I can do is cute?"

"Well I think that blond hair dye is seeping into your brain," Elphie says.

"HOW DO YOU NOW THAT? I mean, WHAT ARE OU TALKING ABOUT?" the blonde shouts. Elphie promptly holds up a bottle.

"DUN DUN DUNNN!" Boq shouts.

"WAIT!" Fiyero shouts, "She isn't a blond?"

"Fine! My hair browned! I tried to fix it but it _isn't working!_"

Fiyero turns and whispers to Boq, "Well _obviously_ it's not working. I mean, look at that giant patch of brown on the back of her head!"

"WHAT?" Galinda shrieks, starting to snatch at the bottle to fix the flaw, but at a height of 4'11" she can't reach.

"I finally found a flaw, I'm not letting it get away that quickly!" Elphaba says holding the bottle higher out of reach of the petite blonde. She keeps jumping.

"Forget it! You can fix it when we get back."

"But it'll have browed more by then!" Galinda protests.

"Glinda… I mean Glinda! It doesn't matter! Nobody is out here to see it!"

"Yes there is!" Galinda shouts, "You, Bick, Fiyero… where's Nessa?"

"Huh, I don't know where Ness is," Elphie says, "Haven't seen here in a while. Oh well."

_Somewhere in the woods, Nessarose Tropp is rolling down a hill._

Galinda starts glaring. "You better keep your trap shut. Tell anyone, and you're _DEAD!_" she threatens.

"While you try to be threatening, you simply come off as hilarious. I love it!" the green girl exclaims. Galinda gives Elphie the evil eye.

"Wow… sorry Galinda…"

"Well… she's right," Fiyero adds.

Galinda shoots him a glare. "Thanks plenty, _DEAREST!_"

"Dearest! Does that mean there's still hope for "us"?" Fiyero asks, perking up.

"Absolutely not!" the blonde exclaims, "Where did that vapid thought come from?"

"Well… you called me _dearest_ so I _thought_ you were flirting with me!"

"Haven't you ever heard of sarcasm?" Galinda snaps, "And when have you ever "thought"?"

"Ouch…"

"Oh be quiet!" the blonde retorts, "That was barely even mean."

"I had a rock in my shoe…" Fiyero says devensively.

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**Well there ya go! What do ya do when you're trapped with a bunch of Wicked characters? Review please!**


	3. Campfire Songs

**Don't be surprised if there's more secret revealing to come! SAM and I made up a secret for every character we have in the Wicked campsite!

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_**Later that night at the Campfire**_

"Do we have any food?" the Winkie Prince asks.

"_FOUND A PEANUT/FOUND A PEANUT/FOUND A PEANUT/JUST NOW_…" Galinda begins to sing Found a Peanut.

"Her _BRAIN'S_ the size of a peanut," Morrible mutters.

"It is not!" Galinda exclaims incredulously.

"Your IQ _is_ just a little North of a four year old's," Elphie says.

"Harumph!" Galinda pouts, "I am a very intelligent and sophisticated woman!"

"Wow…" Boq whispers to Fiyero, "I didn't even know she knew such big words…"

"Well I just act blonde… usually," she good witch adds.

"'Cuz we all know she's really a brunette," Fiyero remarks.

"SHUT UP!" Galinda yells, "WE'VE GONE THROUGH THIS BEFORE! As I was saying, I'm _actually_ very smart."

"Oh yeah," Morrible challenges, "Well prove it! What's 9 – 6 + 3 ( 9 + 4 ) 6?"

"288!" Galinda responds two seconds later.

"…she's right," Elphaba says.

"SEE?" Galinda exclaims, looking around. "Is Nessa _STILL_ rolling down a hill?"

_A ways away in the woods, Nessa is still rolling. _

"Okay, gang! It's time for me to spread around my bubbly cheer!" Galinda says, "Let's sing CAMPFIRE SONGS!

"First of all, I'm going to tell you my life's story:

***cue Bazooka Bubblegum**

When my mom gave me a penny, I told her can't get anything at Denny's. When she gave me gave me a lime, I said, "Mother, if I eat a lime, the enamel on my teeth will come off (my father was a very good dentist). The meanest part was when she gave me a quarter, she said "Galinda, don't get shorter!" I was thoroughly offended. Mother proceded to givee me a dollar, as long as I didn't hollar (I didn't hollor, but I did get shorter, don't tell her or I'll have to pay her back)"

"…what a hark-knock life…" Elphie says sarcastically.

"I know…" Galinda replies, chocked up. "The next song I will sing is "ta rah rah boom de eh."

Galinda does so. At _THE TEACHER PASSED AWAY_ she points at Morrible. "Elphie! Cast a spell!" Galinda says under her breath.

"I HEARD THA-"

Suddenly Morrible just dropped dead.

"I didn't do anything!" Elphaba shouts.

Boq pulls a bottle from behind his back as Galinda shrugs and continues singing.

"And this is how much I miss home!" the blonde says and promptly starts singing _Home on the Range_.

"Where did she learn all of these songs?" Boq whispers to the Winkie who just eats more 'smores.

"Wait, what's that?" Galinda asks, looking at the food in Fiyero's hand.

"Galinda, it is a 'smore," Elphie replies.

"All we have at home is fruits, vegetables, and _TEA!_"

"Here, try one," Boq says handing her the gooey treat.

"_IT'S GOOD!_" the blonde exclaims.

"Great," Elphie muttered, "Now she's gonna get fat."

"WHAT? FAT?" Galinda screams throwing away her 'smore.

"No! She's kidding! You won't get fat!" Fiyero quickly says.

"Oh…"

With that, Galinda begins devouring the 'smores.

"Great. Now Galinda's discovered SUGAR!" Elphaba complains.

"IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? IT'S DELICIOUS!" Galinda yells and the Munchkin and Winkie start laughing.

"And now I'm gonna sing _Oh Little Toad_," Galinda announces, "This is for my best friend Elphie and how much I would miss her if she was hit on the road."

She does so when suddenly Morrible starts snoring and magically the marshmallows start lighting on fire.

"Eeek!" Galinda screams and runs away.

"Shiz," Boq mutters, "Wrong potion."

"_WHAT DID YOU DO?_" the green witch demanded.

"Ummm… I put something in her coffee and I was _hoping_ it was the poison. Apparently, it was the sleeping potion," the Munchkin replies sheepishly.

"So where's the poison?" the green witch asks.

"Don't worry. I didn't use it… yet. I _was_ going to put it into Fiyero's drink. It's still in her robes," he says before muttering, "I still wanna marry Galinda."

"Well good luck, shorty," said Fiyero, "It ain't gonna happen."

"Shut up," Boq retorted.

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**Review! I'm trying to grow as a writer as I make the story and it would really help me if you left me feedback! Thanks!**


	4. Coffee Capers

**Ohhh Shiz! Boq is giving**_** Galinda**_** of all people **_**coffee!**_** How do ya think that's gonna go?

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_**The next day, early in the morning**_

Boq is attempting to woo Galinda. He shall provide her with warm coffee after she awakes.

"Drink this, my darling. It will help you awaken," he says.

Galinda takes the cup and sniffs it. "What is it?" she asks.

"It's coffee," Boq answers, "Only the greatest discovery made by man."

Galinda curiously takes a sip. "Mmm…" She takes a gulp. "It's like a party in my mouth!" the blonde exclaims, and with that she begins to gulp it down.

"Whoa! Take it easy!" Boq says.

Galinda just ignores him.

"I hope that was decaf…" the Munchkin mutters to himself.

_**Five minutes later**_

Galinda bursts out of her tent, already dressed, made up, and with her hair standing on end.

"Hey check out the brunette!" Fiyero shouts, "What happened to your hair?"

"WHOOO!" Galinda screams, "ELECTRICUTION! I STUCK MY FINGERS INTO THE ELECTRICAL SOKET BECAUSE IT LOOKD FUN!"

"Awww… crap. I'm _NOT_ responsible for _ANY_ of this," shouts Boq.

"what did you do this time?" Elphie asks.

"Simply an act of kindness that went _completely_ _out of control._"

"What did she drink?"

"… coffee…"

"YOU IDIOT!" screamed Elphaba, "DO I HAVE TO DRAW YOU A DIAGRAM? ANYTHING WITH SUGAR OR CAFENE MAKES HER ENERGY LEVEL SKY-ROCKET! FIRST MORRIBLE, NOW GALINDA! AM I NEXT?"

"Ummm… actually, I was thinking Fiyero," answered the Munchkin, "And where _is_ Nessarose? She should be back by now."

Just then, Nessa rolls in, panting with exhaustion.

"Okay! I'm back!" she calls, "Stupid hills."

"YA GOTTA TRY THIS COFFEE!" shouts Galinda, running over. "IT'S LIKE A PARTY IN YOUR MOUTH! WHAT IN THE NAME OF OZ HAPPENED TO YOU?"

"Oh you know. I just went on a simple… roll… but, well… gravity hates me," she replies.

"YOU'RE A COMPLETE MESS, HOW ABOUT I GO FIX YOU UP IN MY TENT!" Galinda offers.

"Ummm… what's with your hair? Isn't it blond and curly?"

"I HAVE NO CLUE, I JUST WOKE UP AND BICK GAVE ME COFFEE SO I STUCK MY FINGERS IN THE ELECTRICAL SOKET BEORE GETTING READY!"

"Ohhh…kaaayyy? I'm not sure if I should trust you but I'm already in a wheelchair so what could make it much worse… but you _SHOULD_ fix your hair.

_**Half an hour later**_

Nessa is indeed cleaned up, but she looks a little freaked out. Somehow Morrile slept through all of this and is now waking to a splitting headache. Galinda is still high on caffeine.

"OH MY GOD SHE IS A COMPLETE DISASTER!" the blonde yells, pulling out an emergency makeup kit. "I NEED A BUCKET OF WATER HERE!"

Fiyero promptly hands her a bucket of cold water to her from the lake. Galinda takes it and throws the water onto Morrible's face, hoping all the powder will come off.

Fuming, cold, soaked, and suffering a splitting headache, Morrible furiously screams, "YOU IMP! I HEREBY BAN YOU FROM ALL PARTIES AND SOCIAL GATHERINGS!"

Galinda's eyes fill with tears before bursting out crying.

"Well you should have seen that coming," Elphie says "you just threw a bucket of lake water at our headmistress!"

"But she's not my momsie, she can't do that!" Galinda retorts.

"She not mine either but she _is_ a powerful witch. She could turn you into a toad like _that_," Elphie snaps her fingers.

Galinda gulps, eyes going wide. "Toad? But then I'd be green like you…"

"It's good to know you're my best friend," Elphie says, rolling her eyes.

"_I know right?_" Galinda exclaims.

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**More coffee capers to come! Read on, my friends, read on!**


	5. Three Surreptitious Secrets

**More embarrasing secrets revealed! Whoohoo! Check it out!

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_**That night, at the campfire**_

Galinda shivers violently and Boq promptly hugs her, more of a wooing attempt than anything.

"GET OFF SHORTY!" Galinda screams.

"What _ARE_ you talking about?"

"Well you are a Muchkin."

"You're shorter than me," the Munchkin replies.

Elphie continues to work on the campfire.

"WE NEED A CAMPFIRE, NOT A CANDLE!" Morrible yells irritably.

"Well I don't see _you_ helping!" the green witch retorts.

Morrible shoots some magical flames at the fire and it becomes enourmous.

"HELP!" Fiyero shouts.

"Are you _that_ stupid?" Elphie asks, shaking her head.

"IT'S EVIL, I'M TELLIN' YA!"

"That's right, you run!" shouts a Bunny.

"IT'S SOOO CUTE!" Galinda exclaims, stuffing her face with marshmallows again.

"_EXCUSE ME?_" the Bunny snaps, seeming offended.

"Galinda! Shut up!" Elphie whisper-shouts.

"Your hair's brown!" Fiyero exclims.

"_WHAT?_"

"I'll give you a dollar if you don't holler," Elphie says.

"You owe me a dollar," Galinda says flatly, running off to fix her hair.

_**Few minutes later**_

Galinda has finally gotten to re-blondifiying her hair.

"Okay, we can't find anything so we're having oranges!" Elphie announces.

"But Elphie, then the enamel will come off my teeth!" Galinda says, "Then I'll have to wear dentures… _LIKE MORRIBLE!_"

Morrible looks around suspiciously. "How do you know that?"

"Hello? My father's the best dentist in the Upper Uplands!" the blonde replies, "I know false teeth from real ones!"

"Shiz… the little imp."

"I also happen to now that Fiyero gets liposuction," Galinda continues.

"I DO NOT!" Fiyero shouts definsivly. He pauses. "Okay, fine. I do. But it's not like I do it all the time! Just… three times."

"Ten times, Fiyero," Galinda sighs, "Can't you count?"

"_Where are you getting this?_" Elphie demands.

"Weren't you listening? I told you my whole family is in appearance… well… except my cousin, he raises sheep… but where do you _THINK_ I got this cardigan?" Galinda tugs at the edge of a pink wool cardigan she's wearing.

Boq does a low whistle.

"Well it's from the sheep!" the blonde exclaims, "Oh, and Elphie, stop taking my perfumes."

"…I don't know _what_ you are talking about…" the green witch says stiffly.

"Don't play stupid with me, Miss Thropp! That's my job!"

"Brown patch!" Boq yells.

"_SWEET OZ!_" Galinda shrieks, "Oh, Bick, stop cross-dressing! It really isn't your style."

All give Boq a weird look.

"She's lying! I don't know _what_ she's talking about!" Boq says throwing some high heels behind his back. "Dang it, those were my Jimmy Choos."

Galinda, hearing this, squeals and grabs them. "LOOK THEY'RE MY SIZE!" she shouts.

The others have more weird looks.

"This is most certainly the most awkward secret today," Morrible announces.

"Boq, why didn't you tell me you were into fashion?" Galinda asks the Munchkin.

"She called me 'Boq'! _SHE CALLED ME BOQ!_" Boq yells, doing a celebratory dance.

"Ohhh…kaaayyy…" Elphie says, scooting off.

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**Whaddaya think? Yes the secrets are weird but we thought they would be super funny**


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